“Do your hair and put on your make-up.
If you look better, you’ll feel better.”
It’s a smart idea. A sound suggestion. And in truth, it has actually worked on occasion. Even when it doesn’t work, I still try.
Much like I mentioned in the Count to Three blog, people don’t always want to hear the truth when they ask “how are you?” And frankly, we don’t always want to answer it. At all. On any level. I don’t want to talk about the things that are wrong anymore. I don’t want to discuss the state of the union, why 2011 sucked, how my life spiraled into a personal hell from which even dreamland won’t let me escape. I don’t want to twitter strange things hoping the right person sees it and gets it. I’m done. I never admired weakness. I never wanted to grow up and be a whiny pathetic cry-baby. I wanted to be Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn, and a plethora of other strong leading ladies that even in their own hell could and would hold their head high and face the world with a smile.
That’s what it’s all about. And that’s what I’m going to do…
Smile. No matter what. Smile, and eventually the smile will be real. It’s the physical equivalent of “peachy”—my standard answer to “how are you?” I don’t always mean it, but I always say it. The smile on my face? I’m going to do it, whether it’s lipstick or drawn on a piece of torn paper and held up to cover reality. I’m going to smile. I’m going to laugh. I’m going to move forward with the appearance of grace. I won’t let anyone know I’m bleeding, let alone ask for a band-aid. And one day, with any luck, my smile will actually match the torn paper it hides behind.
Hello 2012… ready for me? I’ve got books to write, genres to take over, and fans to woo and win. Now then, if you read this blog but haven’t gotten the latest, check out the bookstore. I’ve got to go work on #LS.