Frustration Defined

researchI have this novel I’m working on. It’s got everything. Romance and heartache. Killing and maiming. World travel and backyard discoveries. Sunshine, rainbows, and, of course, the apocalypse.

It’s been twitching and ticking, whispering and screaming, in the back of my mind for a few years. It’s the muse’s go-to-girl for random thoughts.

I asked for several books for Christmas that were research for this novel. The shiny new books are now chock full of yellow and blue flags poking out to mark pages, passages and other useful tidbits. I have 2 separate notebooks of joy going, with little scribbles and big plot points. The margins are full of chewy goodness and scattered throughout is a free verse style outline that weaves and winds like the marginals in my old Mad magazines.

And I can’t write it.

The definition of frustration for a writer? Realizing that something isn’t done cooking. Realizing that even though you think about it all day, there are gaping holes and plot problems and far too much to unfuck later to allow you to start just writing it now.

I hate this.

I must tuck it back into my brain, keep doing research, keep doodling in the notepads, and get cracking on the other novel. You know—the one that has to be done in three months, but doesn’t have the fire behind it that this one does. But it will. Because it’s what writers do. Because I know now. And as soon as the frustration wears off the stubborn will kick in, and I’ll write this one while the other continues to cook on low heat in the brain pan.

Frustration.

Yeah. I hate it but it’s time to get over it… Writers write. They don’t think about writing. They don’t talk about writing. They write. So while I’m thinking about other crap and taking notes and working on the forward motion novel, I think I’ll also accept that life is insane. It’s going to be that way for the foreseeable future… or at least until the youngest leaves for college—in TWELVE more years! So I’d better figure out how to work with the crazy. Schedule around sometimes seven. And block out the voices in my head whispering about other books, and voices outside my head crying about the remote or a video game or what they don’t want for dinner, and just write… something other than a flipping blog!

0 Responses to Frustration Defined

  • Dickie says:

    SHUDDUP AND WRITE!

    ;)

  • wolfnoma says:

    Get CRACK-A-LACKIN ON THIS!! I NEED TO POST SNARKY COMMENTS ON IMPROPER COMMA USAGE!!! MY OXFORD COMMA USAGE BOOK IS GETTING DUSTY AS I TYPE THIS!

  • Kelli says:

    from email, worth sharing:

    Life is what happens, while you are planning other stuff.
    And happiness is a mode of travel–so you figured that out.
    Now learn to trust they (your life and happiness) will be there and write the damn book.
    Love the mom

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