I Love The XXs

I don’t watch a lot of television. In truth, there are only three shows I try to catch, and if I miss one it’s no big deal. I don’t find humor in a lot of what Hollywood believes to be funny. Good shows change writers or just disappear. Reality television is an abomination that I blame for the breakdown of society… There are just so many other things to do instead of watching TV. But damn it if I won’t get sucked into a six hour giggle-fest when VH1 does those damn Top 100 whatever of the 80s, or I Love the XXs.

I don’t go looking for them. I don’t even flip the channels and find them—hell, I haven’t been in charge of the remote for almost 17 years.  But the girl child, the hubby,  someone will find it and then comes the ever famous, “Hey Kel! Come look at this for a second.” And I’m done.

Done I tell you.

Six hours later I’m digging through my CDs for some 80s one-hit band I forgot about. I’m remembering things long forgotten, nudged from the cranial cobwebs by a stupid song or comment on the clothes of the time or toys or whatever. I’m an addict I tell you.

I think maybe I’ll block that channel before I melt my brain…

Note: the above was a rough draft that I wrote after getting stuck in one of those six-hour marathons. It’s been resurrected because my sister showed up this weekend and we are currently on hour THREE of I Love the 70s… so very much more horrible than the 80s, on every level.  Why? Because there were things we truly loved as children that had no business even existing! And the songs? The songs are what really got me digging in the ‘draft’ folder.  In the spirit of ‘bad messages’ and ‘what the hell were we thinking’ I give you these lyrics from 1971… [feel free to sing along, because all you 30-40 somethings know you know them!]

Melissa Manchester – Don’t Cry Out Loud

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
’cause she didn’t want parades just passin’ by her
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about ‘er ’cause, you see
Baby is an awful lot like me

Don’t cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down
They left behind her dreams among the litter
The different kind of love she thought she’d found
There was nothin’ left but sawdust and some glitter
But baby can’t be broken ’cause you see
She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told ‘er

Don’t cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all


Really? This was obviously before we all got in touch with our feelings. Sung with the right inflections, it becomes the “kick you when you’re down” feel-good song of the day… build walls, block it all, and gee shucks, you almost succeeded.  Dang…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to giggling. It’s both funny and a little sad, because my sister knows every lyric for every song Carol King ever sang, and I have an uncanny knack for naming aging musicians before their names are on the screen [really though, Jack Blades doesn’t look any damn different!]

0 Responses to I Love The XXs

  • Joe Mulak says:

    Finally, I found somebody else who hates reality TV. For a while there I thought I was the only one. Plus, I also get sucked into those VH1 shows when they come on. I didn’t even like the 80’s all that much, yet there I sit and watch those specials. How pathetic.

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