Love-Hate Relationships

lovehateOnce upon a time there was a panel. This morning there was a blog. And on my first cup of coffee, I find myself blogging back… really?!

See, the point to the panel was that “the internet is forever“, so you need to be careful what you graffiti on its walls. But another thing that came up was, while some things shouldn’t be posted online because they’re too personal, others shouldn’t be because readers may develop a love-hate relationship. Or worse, hate-hate.

Do you, or perhaps someone you know, have an actor whose work you like, but hate them as a person because of something they said? Sure you do. We all know someone like that. My parents will watch Tom Cruise and Kevin Costner, but ignore anything that falls out of their mouths because they disagree with them religiously or politically. That’s love-hate. Hate-hate would be Jane Fonda, who has said and done things that have turned my parents away from her as a human, let alone actress, for-evah.

It’s the fear of that second part that came up on the panel. Someone in the room, name withheld to protect the innocent, summed it up perfectly. “I can never never blog that I hate cats… because all cat lovers will then hate me.” And it’s true. You know the saying “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game,” but it’s harder said than done for some. And as a writer, as any type of social being with an audience, we must all be careful what we say. We must choose our words diligently, even outside our fiction.

Now I will personally post just about anything in my blog. I feel the more human I admit to being, the more real I am to the two-dimensional world of PC screens and iPhone bookmarks, the better. But there are some things I hold back on. There are certain aspects of our lives I don’t feel should be given to the world. Partially for the love-hate issue, but partially because it’s just none of their damn business (that one was for you A). Wrath’s blog wasn’t a love-hate thing, even though his tweet suggested he thought I would think that. Wrath’s was a human thing. And as human’s we are imperfect by nature. Is the blog Mo’s fault? No. It was the type of blog that makes us real. Unlike the type of blog that makes us stupid *ahem, Mo* and gives reason to have panels such as the one we had at Mo’Con this year. Certain conversations are best saved for the phone calls to your closest friends. Others can be shared with the human collective for humor or insight. There is a difference. That was the point to the panel, and this blog entry. I don’t want to know everything about my favorite writers or actors. Just enough to make them human. And I’ll give you just enough to make me human in return.

And Wrath… because ‘dueling blogs’ come with direct responses:

1.) My ex did that. I hated it, but it wasn’t why I divorced him.
2.) I hope Christie throws things at your head when you’re doing that.
3.) I think all men do that.
4.) I know all men do that.
5.) *gasp* You can’t control things while sleeping? My god, I suppose your snore, too!
6.) You admit it, though. 2 Points
7.) City mouse and country mouse were popular for a reason.
8.) Part of why we love you…
9.) We’re all like that sometimes.
10.) hehe, me too! Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?
11.) Deals are good.
12.) You do other things around the house though, right?
13.) THERE is your cat hate… but I think the populous will forgive you.

and 14, because I too am human and not perfect: No, men don’t change… Relationships can fail based on that alone. Women hope the men will change, they don’t. Men hope the women won’t, they do.

ps. While reading this to the hippie, his 10-year-old piped in: 15.) I like pie!

0 Responses to Love-Hate Relationships

  • Marcy Italiano says:

    “I can never never blog that I hate cats… because all cat lovers will then hate me.” And it’s true.


    Dear animal lovers,
    Please listen to the whole sentence when I say, “I can’t stand being around dogs, my dog allergies cause my lungs to tighen and I can’t breathe.”
    Thank you,

    We had a similar discussion on a panel in April, about writers having to be publicly accessible. In some cases their publishers demanded that they are blogging and online. But Jesus…I once saw Margaret Atwood get lambasted for a *typo* on Twitter. For *three days*.

    We all have to decide how open we want to be online and I’m pretty damn fucking open. But the dog thing? Not up for discussion.

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  • Thad Linson says:

    Having been there, I can say it definitely was an interesting panel. Personally, all I think you owe us as readers is the entertainment we pay for. Beyond that, it depends on the individual’s personality. From what I saw over those couple of days, you all share on these blogs what I would expect.

    A quick story to illustrate my point. I was very quiet and more interested in just watching at Mo*Con, but Mo had to get me to interact with others. That’s who Mo is. Just like this blog is who you are. I appreciate the bits you all give us as an interaction, but anything beyond that would almost feel voyeuristic.

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