Metaphors rock!

Zen moments and channeling Confucius are also nice. Meanwhile, where’s my remote control?!

Someone changed the channel on my television and then hid the remote before they left the house. I was happy with my jump button being set to the news and the comedy channel. I could watch the world fall apart and then laugh for a little nervous relief. Now I’m stuck on freaking TMC.

Sure, when you can’t sleep, TMC works. Turn on an old movie and watch long dead actors and actresses in their prime while they spin some moral through pitfalls and heartache.  When you’re in the mood, fine. When you’re not, it’s like playing Gordon Lightfoot’s Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald at a party… quite the downer.

Unfortunately, technology is out to get me. New televisions require their remotes and don’t always have channel changers on the box itself… and you apparently need a special screwdriver to tear it apart and do it internally. Unlike the wise people in the lab at Phones R Us, the television manufacturers weren’t smart enough to put a page button on the set. How cool would that be? Push a button and the remote beeps until you find it. [I totally claim 10% earnings for the first television that does that!]

Don’t have a pager, don’t have a remote, and can’t stomach one more story of lost love or lives that fall perfectly into place, in the guise of mystery, family classics or even western. Good god. I could really use some South Park or even political bullshit at this point.  Instead, I guess I’ll pull the television cord from the wall and wait until someone figures out where my damn remote is hiding.

0 Responses to Metaphors rock!

  • Even some 7-11s carry universal remotes these days. At the Dollar General we got one that is a rectangle as big as the base of a loaf of bread…hard to lose. We have another one that when you press a button on the TV – it locates the remote by making it beep…there are ways around TMC you see… (lol)

    It does sound like Hell on Earth..


  • Bob Ford says:

    I have two children under 9 years old. I haven’t seen my remote in about five years.

    Though I’m still searching for a “life” remote. Or maybe just some “Delete” or “Undo” buttons would be nice.

  • The Mom says:

    While your inventing controls for the tube-get me a fast forward for all the policical lies and commercials. Are we in a mood? LTM

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