Onions

A funny thing happened on the way to divorce court… Actually, there are several funny things [and in the spirit of clarification for my family, funny-peculiar, not funny-haha]. I’m sure I’ll blog about many of them, but I’m more comfortable in metaphors, so don’t get too excited.

As I said, a funny thing happened on the way to divorce court. I realized I didn’t know the person looking back at me in the mirror. It’s very odd to look at your reflection and see a stranger. Let me tell you, it’s quite unsettling on occasion. So I unpacked and started pealing away the layers of dirt and grime, pain and suffering, appeasement and placation.

I’ve found out a few things, and am a little excited and a touch nervous about what else I may find. I found that I’m not nearly as loud and rammy as most of you know me to be. I think that may have been a response to my surroundings. [Even the kids commented on how quiet and calm everything is around the new house. Quieter voices, music, TV. Hell, there’s been nights with no noise at all and the three of us sprawl across each other on the couch and read quietly.] I found that I kind of like my hair and wear it down more often. I started to understand why I do, or don’t do, certain things. And I realized that I haven’t actually been a tomboy for years and kind of like girl clothes [I packed away all but three t-shirts and haven’t looked back]. It’s ok, I’ll wait a minute for you to absorb that last one… don’t feel bad, it freaked me out too.

It freaked me out enough to call friends. They weren’t scared, or shocked. And of course, that worried me more. Maurice said that it’s layers, and they’ll just keep coming off. Bob called me an onion. And Alethea assured me that I wouldn’t find an apple underneath all the onion layers, just another piece of onion—that might be purple instead of white.

It’s been a crazy year. It started with a medical hangover from the previous year, I had surgery, I sold Horror-Web, I sold my first novel, I moved… All kinds of change.  But change is inevitable—especially when you throw a divorce into the cosmos as a catalyst. Change can be scary and unnerving, and exciting and intriguing. But no matter how you look at it, it’s still change, and much like the sun rising or the tides receding, you can’t stop it, so you may as well just float on the current and see where it takes you. After all, Cassi’s been telling me for years, “it is what it is”… I just never knew what “it” was. Actually, I still don’t, but I finally understand the saying and will stop groaning when she says it.

Today’s lesson… don’t fear change. But remember, there’s nothing wrong with bracing yourself for it and its consequences. So, braced for whatever, it’s time to dig my truck out of this blizzard, go to work, and jump into life again. My retreat from the internet and life is over.

That’s all the time we have for today. Next week on divorce court psycho-babble… accepting what you cannot control and how to pinch a penny at Christmas time!

0 Responses to Onions

  • Bob Ford says:

    You ARE an onion… but a Vidalia… they’re the sweet kind.

    Keep peeling layers honey… you’ll get to where you need to be soon enough.

  • wait, you’re an apple under layers of onion?

    NOW i’m concerned (or at least want to know more about the kind of grocery store you’re in)

  • Joseph Mulak says:

    Divorce sucks. I got divorced 4 years ago and it was hell. But in a way it was the best thing that ever happened with because I got to meet a woman who is perfect for me and we couldn’t be happier together. Sure, I miss not living with my kids and I miss them running to the door when I would come home from work every day to give me a hug, but you take the good with the bad.

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