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Bad Manners | Buttercup of Doom ep 08

BODep08-badmanners300Now Available at Project iRadio!

In this episode I talk about “writing what you know” for the 101 kiddie pool. I share a giggle about a barbie gone viral. I take a look at ‘Merica and manners, and by “take a look” I mean vent, spew, whine and try really hard not to cuss (2nd pg13 Buttercup in a row!). Then I wish you all happy adventures. And once again remind you we’ll be exploring the voyeurism used for good purposes — Periscope Q&A Wednesday night, 8.30 pm Eastern Standard Time. Get the app, meet me there!

barbieMentions: Socality Barbie — instagram | facebook | twitter (not sure if the FB & Twitter accounts are spoof of spoof, unofficial, or what… the Instagram account is the original, official account) Also, note: found more information about account holder, won’t share here, but it’s out there if you want it.

Suggestions/Requests from: not this week (to suggest/request, use the form here)

Shoutouts: Trojan • Pampers • Periscope • Cheetos • Walmart

And don’t forget — for advertising inquiries, contact me at buttercup@kelliowen.com

Hippie on the Loose | Buttercup of Doom ep 05

BOD-ep05-hippie300Now Available at Project iRadio!

In this episode … This week we have our first special guest: writer, ad-guy, hippie, and much more — Robert Ford. Normal people might have a guest on and ask them questions, like an interview. I’m not normal. On this podcast, I invite special guests to rant! And Bob Ford’s ranting topics of choice (aka the buttons I knew existed and pushed without guilt) include bad book covers, shittily© written self-published books that make more money than God, and well… go ahead a listen for more! We also cover the evils of “cholesterol in fiction” (aka “that” and other perils of prose) in the Kiddie Pool 101, the reading this week is from Bob’s collection in Bob’s own voice, and I only interrupt him 273 times (except during the reading). Enjoy!!

Bob Ford can be found on:  blogspot-squareicon  fb-squareicon  twitter-squareicon  (note: no WWW, remember to message him suggestions for his not-dotcom!)          

 

Sponsors: The God Beneath My Garden, by Robert Ford (available at Amazon)

Suggestions/Requests from: not this week (to suggest/request, use the form here)

Shoutouts: Lamplight Magazine • Jacob Haddon • Brian Keene • Geoff Cooper • Dave Thomas • Joe Branson • Tim Lebbon • Jack Ketchum • Edward Lee • Dezm (Mark Sylva) • Rachel Deering • Eric Roman • JF Gonzalez • Whutta Design • Robert Swartwood • Kealan Patrick Burke • Ron Dickie • Mary SanGiovanni • Wrath James White • Llamas with Hats

And don’t forget — for advertising inquiries, contact me at buttercup@kelliowen.com

Second Place | Buttercup of Doom ep 02

BOD-ep02second

Now Available at Project iRadio!

In this episode I read from a childhood favorite and then discuss reading with your kids (or with your parents when you were the kid). I cover cliches vs tropes in Writing 101: Tips from the Kiddie Pool. I lose my mind completely on the topic of participation awards, trigger warnings, and political correctness on a whole. But I lighten it all up with an amazingly funny comedian and a little piece of chocolate…

Sponsors: Project iRadio | The Horror Show with Brian Keene | Anathema, book 1: The Evil Men Do, by Rachel Deering

Mentions: The Hatch, by Kelli Owen | A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle | Nicole Arbour (this week’s funny) | Offend This, blog entry | “The Coddling of the American Mind” article from The Atlantic

Suggestions/Requests from: not this week (to suggest/request, use the form here)

Shoutouts: Dave Thomas • Brian Keene • Christopher Mooneyham and Wesley St. Claire

Welcome to the End | Buttercup of Doom ep 01

BOD-ep01welcome

Now Available at Project iRadio!

In this episode I discuss this, smile about that, destroy the idea of that while I rant about that, and have a moment about that other thing… and while I may tell you what I will discuss in this spot for future episodes, I will not for this one. The virgin voyage should be a surprise.

I will tell you the following people/parties are involved on some level… with love and respect and, of course, some snark.

Sponsors: Project iRadio | Bob Ford: facebook, blog, Whutta Design

Mentions: The Horror Show with Brian Keene | Three Guys with Beards | Scares that Care

Suggestions/Requests from: Geoff Cooper & Shayla Pence (to suggest/request, use the form here)

Shoutouts: Dave Thomas • Brian Keene • Jim Moore • Joe Ripple • Wrath James White • Ellen Datlow • Tim Lebbon • John Urbancik • Kim Coates (of Sons of Anarchy, among other things) • Mary Shelley • Shirley Jackson • Anne Rice • Sarah Pinborough • Caitlin Kiernan • Melanie Tem • Sarah Langan • Mehitobel Wilson • Tamara Thorne (*ahem* Chris Curry) • Deborah LeBlanc • Mary SanGiovanni

Everywhere…

typewriterheadEvery writer is asked: Where do you get your ideas?
Quick answer: Everywhere…

The longer answer is: anything we may read, hear, see, a combination of them, or a completely warped version of them based on either playing the “what if” game or letting our muse naturally twist their reality into something we call fiction to keep the white coats away. *whew* (ideas and the muse are always run-on, editing fixes that in the prose!) Or just, you know, our random thoughts.

A prime example of the simple ideas: sitting in an airport for more than an hour people watching, or simply reading the news.

More complicated twists of reality come from a place deep inside us. A place the medical profession would like to dub with some terminology—if not a diagnosis—treat with drugs we can’t pronounce, and call us sick and unusual. But really? When each writer on the planet is capable of doing it, is it really all that unusual? Who’s to say we’re not the normal ones and there’s something wrong with all of you?

Nevermind. I know we’re the crazy ones. I just wanted to see if I could either a. say that with a straight face, b. get any of you to believe it.

Why do I know we’re (or at least me) the crazy ones? Because this happened:

I talk to myself. All the time. Always have. I don’t know if it’s part of my writer mind or just my own personal psychosis, but I do. A lot. This morning, as I rambled on about nothing while getting ready for the dayjob, an innocent (sort of) comment from my own mouth twisted on the way out and hung in the air around me. But let me back up and let you watch it happen…

First, I talked myself through several outfit changes (convincing myself I looked great in something, only to change out of it). I babbled to no one but the girl in the mirror (who in all seriousness really makes me angry some days, but that’s a different blog) while I attempted to tame the locks I consider unruly but many girls actually pay to perm just this way. And then I kept myself verbal company while doing my makeup. Now I don’t wear a lot of makeup, so as you can imagine, that was a pretty short conversation. But that’s where the magical spark happened.

“Hmmm… pale lips. Always with the pale pathetic stupid colorless lips. Need color. What shade? Something light. Not actual ‘look at me’ whore red or anything, just a little bump of color. Enough for the coroner to notice.”

Really? Where’d that last part come from? What the hell happened to me that made that a completely natural thing to say? Mom? Is there something I’m not remembering?!

I accepted the comment as normal for me and went on about my morning with a strange smile—almost pleased with my crazy. I put on the silver pieces, grabbed lunch & the laptop, and hit the road. But before I reached my exit, thirteen minutes later, I realized I hadn’t heard a single thing on the radio during the drive. I was too busy letting the muse twist that comment into an entire storyline. Poor Maggie. She’s not necessarily blue* and she’s definitely not out of lipstick*… but she’s got a path coming into view through the trees that will not be any fun at all…

THAT is where story ideas come from =)

 

* and that is how you sneak in a few pimps for other writers =) Go ahead, mouse over the links, click, check ’em out!

Guckles

gucklesMy love of pickles is not a secret (deal with it Nate). I have always loved them. Forever. Period. And as I giggled at my little Raynebow munching on one the other day, my mind went off into a whirlwind of thoughts regarding the little green treasures that excuse cucumbers for their existence.

I have been known to get just a pickle when the work crew orders from the local sandwich shop, and the delivery guy knows exactly who that for and smiles at my child-like joy. When I was a teen, my brother called them guckles (he was a toddler at the time). Not sure why. He could say “p” but in this instance, he preferred his own word for the happy dill treat. And going back even further, when I was six, my mother bribed me with pickles.

Yes, bribed.

And that’s where the whirlwind stopped.

My mother used to stop on the way home from work at some mysterious place and bring home ginormous pickles, individually wrapped just for me by a group of fairies living near the dill tree in the woods. Hmm… I was six. I believed this. She would then show me said pickle and put it in the fridge and tell me I could have it if I would just be a doll and rub her back (and/or feet) for a few minutes. I was the youngest masseuse to ever work without a license! And I had a lot of fairy-wrapped giant pickles Monday through Friday that year.

And looking back now, as an adult, the woman was brilliant! It wasn’t even about the pickles. It had nothing to do with getting tiny masseuse to work on her kinks. Nope. It was her walking in the door and being able to plot on the couch and just be still and quiet and let the day melt off her for 20 minutes. It was mommy time, not pickle time. Brilliant. Kudos to the woman I often refer to, with love, as crazy (what? she is!).

So here’s a fun wayback-machine question for you… thinking back now as an adult, did your parents ever trick you into something for “you” that was really for them? How brilliantly evil were they?

 

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