snark

Do Over | Buttercup of Doom ep 03

BOD-epDoOver300Now Available at Project iRadio!

In this episode I hijack my own formatting and replace the reading with a fun twist. Then I merge that topic into how and why characters need to be three-dimensional rather than cardboard cutouts in Writing 101: Tips from the Kiddie Pool. Then I bitch piss and moan about people oversharing on the book of many faces. But rather than hanging you out there all peeved, I offer a smile worthy video for you to peek at and leave you with a great reason to go underwear shopping!

Sponsors: Project iRadio | Reel Splatter Productions | Lamplight Magazine

Mentions: Amy Schumer’s Last Fuckable Day

Suggestions/Requests from: not this week (to suggest/request, use the form here)

Shoutouts: Mike Lombardo • Brian Keene • Bob Ford • Amy Schumer • Joe Branson • Julia Louis-Dreyfus • Tina Fey • Patricia Arquette • Rob (name withheld) • Jacob Haddon • The Twilight Zone • Outer Limits • Bela Lugosi • Mary SanGiovanni • Mercedes Yardley • Damien Angelica Walters • Nick Mamatas • Jim Moore • Gary Braunbeck

And don’t forget — for advertising inquiries, contact me at buttercup@kelliowen.com

#trending

twitterdudesThe internet is a strange strange thing. Social media makes it even stranger. You can plan and plot how to expose something new and get no buzz. You can ask a question you really want to know the answer to and get nothing. And then you can say something completely random and your feed explodes. Makes. No. Sense.

So welcome to No Sense Thursday.

Today’s question: what makes your feed trend? What bizarre thing can you discuss, question, or otherwise mention that gets the most feedback, responses and attention? Because it isn’t what you want it to be. I’ve been watching everyone’s feed and have learned, it rarely is. Examples you say? Why certainly… (and yes, please, feel free to follow anyone I may mention in this particular blog)

My personal favorite for the week — saw this the other day, and it sums this up perfectly.  @steveniles (Steve Niles) summed it up well with “I say ‘good morning’ and lose three followers. I’ll try ‘fuck you’ tomorrow and see what happens.”

@marysangiovanni (Mary SanGiovanni) twittered a cthulu emoticon /\(;,,;)/\ and it was the number one most re-tweeted thing she’s ever posted. Also popular are her tweets regarding cannibalism and NJ traffic… she writes books she’d like you care about too =)

@natesouthard (Nate Southard) has random squawks of pointless rage get the most response. He’s declared this is either a terrible commentary on the population or the golden secret of working in the horror small press—take your pick.

@Nukegumby (Michael Huyck) has a wide range of popular tweets, from funny to sarcastic to accidentally motivational. Yes, accidentally motivational. No rhyme. No reason.

@bobford (Robert Ford) can say something truly horrific about midgets and gains followers—if I said the same thing I would not only lose followers, I would get hate mail (justifiably so). He proclaims hatred of all things Michigan while driving through there and gains followers. I say it’s cold and lose 10.

@DaveThomas76 (Dave Thomas) past a lot of things, but if it’s about booze (aka: “Is it too early to drink scotch?” or “Martinis: so much more than a breakfast drink”), people always seem to chime right in. He wonders if his followers are functioning alkies too =)

me @kelli_owen ? Yeah… I post comments about the dayjob, my books, crazy news tidbits… mostly to my following of loyal crickets. But the moment I say anything remotely lesbian or sexual in general, especially to one of my female friends, I’ve got everyone’s attention.

It’s strange. What will grab someone’s attention is so bizarre. Anger, humor, cruelty — very popular. So, the question is… What strange non-important topic do YOU twitter about that makes your feed explode? As an experiment, feel free to answer here, but also and more importantly, answer in twitter by posting a link to this (or just retweet the tweet that got you here) and hashtag your answer in the tweet if possible. It will be like a meme and a hashtag had an illegitimate lovechild…  (feel free to copy and paste this and fill in the blank)

RT: @kelli_owen Fun Blog: #trending http://wp.me/p2tbLH-X5  answer: #_______

 

 

Broken Promises

borrowed from http://thinksbooks.blogspot.com/The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep.
~ Robert Frost

What is New Year’s Eve? Easy. We drink, we laugh, we tell stories while we reminisce about the year (whether good or bad), and we make promises to do this or change that in the coming year.

Ahhh, the New Year’s Resolution.

We often make these promises out loud and in front of friends, but they’re really supposed to be promises to ourselves. Whether or not we mean them. Whether or not we are only playing along with the social experiment that is nothing more than a grand gesture of superficial self-evaluation. Whether or not it’s peer pressure, or some other misguided reason to change for some benefit that is less than pure and far from true. We make promises on New Year’s Eve… by the millions. Some make one. Some make lists worth.

But, like all promises made for the wrong reasons, in the heat of the moment, under pressure, or uttered out loud to give it some sort of physicality, reality, or validity, we break them. Of course, promises get broken all the time. Every day. By strangers and loved ones alike. Some of them hurt others, some of them hurt ourselves, and some of them do no damage at all—as they were inconsequential or never believed to be real in the first place. Unfortunately, the risk of the cumulative effect of those broken promises over a lifetime is that eventually you believe nothing.

The most famous broken promises made through the fog of champagne and silly hats? Start exercising, stop smoking, etc. Quit this or start that. Blah blah. Think back, I imagine at some point in your life you’ve muttered the words yourself. I have.

This year, I promise something different. I promise nothing… and everything. Nothing, because I have had enough of broken promises. Because I’m about one step away from that jaded soul that believes nothing even when they can see it, taste it, and touch it. And I promise everything because I want to experience life, rather than just survive it. I want to absorb what I can from this crappy world and see if I can’t still find the happiness in the mud puddles of bullshit that seem to be scattered everywhere in the parking lot of my metaphorical life. 2013 started shitty and ended in the same exact place. Nothing changed. Not one damned thing. Time to BE the change…

Have a safe New Year’s Eve, everyone. See ya on the flip side!

*image borrowed from thinks books

Let’s Get Dad a Tank For Christmas

iwanttobelieveel4This post has nothing to do with my dad, Christmas, or a tank. And only a little to do with the X-files’ poster and UFOs.  Of course, it’s not about LOLcats either — which is good — so please, no throwing tomatoes at the screen.

It’s about conspiracies. Or rather, the theories that abound — even more so now that we have the internet to help propagate paranoia, supposition, and false information.

See, there’s been a lot of television programming in my house lately that leans toward the strange, the bizarre, the unspoken, hidden, or otherwise secretive. Ancient Aliens, America Unearthed, Mysteries at the Museum, etc.—from ancient alien theorists (drink!) to secret cults and strange NSA data centers. It was that last bit that inspired the title for the blog. After watching a piece on the information stored by the government, there was a discussion about how they decide what’s dangerous and what’s just a conversation. I’ve joked about getting my dad a tank for the front yard for years. I’ve told him a couple times that I’ve found one online but he wasn’t getting it because the shipping would cost a college fund. But does the NSA know that I’m actually talking about a real tank, for my actual dad, for the holiday known as Christmas? Or do they think it’s some bizarre code, like “dad” is really the president, and “tank” is really some weapon or plan or something. Who knows. I once checked out the wrong combination of books from the library and called the FBI in the same week and ended up with a dark sedan with tinted windows outside the house for a month or so. Anything is possible. But this particular show spurred a fun conversation and google search, which then led to Bob Ford being a trouble maker and suggesting I google certain things just to see how fast the NSA shows up at the door—I chose not to follow his suggestion.

Now, I watch all those shows. I’m intrigued by what they’re investigating more than I am what they’re proposing. I make fun of them on occasion for jumping the shark and have turned a couple of them into drinking games, but I enjoy them at the same time. I don’t necessarily believe the conclusions they come to, but I like that they open the topics up for debate, discussions, and insane theories of my own. I’m not what you would call a conspiracy theorist, I’m more a curious pain in the ass (just ask the priests back at catholic school… they “loved” my million and two questions they couldn’t answer).

Some of the top conspiracy theories on google are:

  1. New World Order – group of international elites controls and manipulates governments, industry & media worldwide
  2. Lee Harvey Oswald either didn’t act alone or didn’t do it at all
  3. Marilyn Monroe was killed by the Kennedys
  4. Cancer has been cured but costs less than treatment so they won’t release it
  5. 9/11 was either done by our own government or covered up by it
  6. Elvis (and Tupac for that matter) is not dead
  7. The moon landing was a hoax and all those pictures were taken right here on earth in a studio
  8. Area 51 – ’nuff said

So, since I still haven’t found an actual tank for dad at a reasonable price with shipping included, and it’s Monday rather than Thursday and therefore my strange behavior could be a conspiracy of its own, let’s toss out the question you knew I was going to ask way up at the first mention of the NSA… What’s your “favorite” conspiracy theory. Now, of course I use the word “favorite” with caution, much like “who’s your favorite serial killer?” No one really likes serial killers—when you say that you actually mean “which one intrigues you the most, or you study the most, or you find the most bizarre, etc.”.

Explanations and examples aside… my answer? I’m a huge, will-watch-anything-at-all-to-do-with the Freemasons, Illuminati, and any other secret cult, group, or society even if only linked to the Masons on a the dust of the fringe of a robe they no longer wear. My grandfather was a Shriner/Mason and his ring had my attention from a very young age. The fact that I’m just a girl and am not allowed to join on any level may have something to do with it as well… I never have reacted well when told I can’t do something =)

What’s your poison? Your passion? Your go-to conspiracy of choice? Go ahead, you can answer… no one is watching, recording, or storing this conversation anywhere… no, really…

 

 

Subscribe for Updates

Archives