Tell me a story…

73781812Age is a funny thing. The older you get, the more you think back to what’s come before now. Of course, you also forget more of those memories every day than you remember. But just for fun, let’s pretend you remember everything… and now you’ve died.

Ha! Happy Thursday. You weren’t expecting me to kill you all off, were you? Well, for today’s garage talk, we don’t want to talk about your death. We want to talk about your life… or rather, how you would portray it in a movie.

Everyone’s heard the “who plays you in your life story” question. This is different. I don’t care about the actor, their talents, their looks, nothing… I only care about their voice. If the story of your life was made into a movie that started with your death and then flashbacked—so you are not in it, except your voiceover—who is the voice? No, not you. Cheap answer. Cusack? Depp? Hepburn? Cher? Who would you like to be the voiceover of “you” in this film?

And why? Because you knew you weren’t getting off easy with just a name for an answer. Why do you choose that person? Is it their voice? Their timbre? Their tone? Just a favorite actor and that’s enough for you to want their voice? Gimme a good answer… or at least a completed one. There is no bad answer.

Who is you?

Me? Easy. I’ve had the same answer to this question for the last twenty years: Kathleen Turner. She’s got a great, sultry, deep female voice that sounds like she may have spent just a touch too long in the smoking section at a convention. Great tone, great range of emotion, and come on, she was Jessica Rabbit for pete’s sake!

0 Responses to Tell me a story…

  • paula says:

    Kathryn Hepburn because she was in 2 of me all time favorite movies, “Bringing up Baby” and “The Philadelphia Story”. She was an amazing actress and person. She is no longer with us so I guess my second choice would be Olympia Dukakis just because she is a fantastic actress.

  • Kelli says:

    You love the Philadelphia Story?! I love you a little more right now… =))

  • phyllis says:

    Eliza Dushku. Why? Because I like her attitude. And we are similar in the fact that we are both pretty laid back but can be very passionate about things when we need to be. She is the first person that came to mind. I tried to strain my brain, but no one else came to mind but Faruza Balk,so I guess she would be my second choice. Why? Because she is unique just like me. =)

  • Marcy Italiano says:

    Morgan Freeman. Becuase I saw March of the Penguins and almost cried at some points.

    Oh wait… does it have to be a girl? ;)

  • Bob Ford says:

    I think Tim Robbins would do a good job. I think it has a lot to do with the cadence and tone of his voice.

  • wolfnoma says:

    Good question Kelli, but for me not one easily answered. Well, I can pick the person but the reasoning behind my pick is a bit more complicatated than the answer itself. So I suppose I will give you the name of my “Lifes Narrative Voice” that persons name is; Richard Frank Oznowicz AKA Frank Oz.

    I picked him for the simple reason or in my case “Theory” that I believe that a person has more than one voice. I know I do. I am a man who has many voices or facets as I like to call them and they all stem from my personality being not spherical or cubicle but faceted in my ever changing flux of life.

    I have a tendency to wear my emotions on my sleeve and others know how I am feeling just by looking at me. When I am angry or upset I have been know to scream like Mrs. Piggy karate chopping her way through Fozzy Bears bad jokes. When I am feeling Patriotic or Proud I have been know to sound like Sam Eagle, when I feel Cheesy and filled with bad Puns I have been known to drop a “Wakka Wakka” like Fozzy Bear, or even when I get a bit rambunctions I have been known to grab the “Fairer Sex” and yell “WOMAN, WOMAN!” and then beat on some drums like Animal. I have devoured cookies like Cookie Monster and been known to sing a verse of two of C is for Cookie at the top of my lungs in a restaraunt full of embarrased people in black ties. On occasion I have been know to be as Analy Retentive as Bert while admiring birds from afar (Most recently when a Hot piece of Canadian Bacon was attempting to violate me in the wilds of Pennsylvania). When I am upset or grumpy I tend to give curt and violent answers like Oscar the Grouch.

    Sorry to have rambled on but you asked for it.

    wolfnoma

  • paula says:

    What is your favorite scene in “The Philadelphia Story”?
    I love the scene that has Macaulay Connor ( very drunk) talking to C K Dexter Haven in his sitting room.I crack up every time.

  • Kelli says:

    “Nothing ever possibly in the least ever happens here. Mother, how do you get smallpox?”

    I heart Dinah… and all scenes with her. Much as I love the main cast and their characters, she’s my favorite.

  • paula says:

    OMG, when Dinah starts singing about the Tattooed Lady, She was too funny!

  • Kevin Lucia says:

    I’m going to cheat. Sorry. I have no idea about voice – although I think his voice would fit, but only because I think of his face – Marc Blucas, who played Riley as Buffy’s rebound-guy after Angel. But if this was for who would play the part of me, definitely Marc Blucas. He’s just a regular looking guy. And in this picture, he has JUST enough boy-band hair…

    http://www.thecinemasource.com/moviesdb/images/MarcBlucas2-300.jpg

    Can you hear boy-band hair in a voice? Does it affect the tone at all? Food for thought….

  • Jeff Prettyman says:

    James Earl Jones. Simply by having him tell the story of my life woud lend credibility to, and dare I say, bring a greater importance to even the most mundane aspects of my run-o’-the -mill exsistence. And there would be one particularly cool scenes for him to narrarate:
    After the birth of my first son, as I gaze down upon the swadled babe and he intones,
    “I am you father.”

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